


My favourite thing

by amberandmetal



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Awesome Darcy Lewis, Dancing, Drunk Steve Rogers, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Music, Song Lyrics, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Is A Sweetheart, flangst, steve missing bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 11:27:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17786507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amberandmetal/pseuds/amberandmetal
Summary: Drunk on Asgardian mead and forced to listen to Darcy’s playlists Steve can’t help the memories from surfacing nor the agonizing pain that comes with it. Tony to the rescue.





	My favourite thing

**Author's Note:**

> Some Stony flangst for you this Valentine’s day. Don’t worry, the angst is in the first half and the other half is pure fluff. There is some mightbeinterpretedaspastStuckyifyousquint in there so if that’s not your thing you have been warned. I wrote this today after listening to the playlist I made for my boyfriend for Valentines. The songs are Snow patrol- Chasing cars and Dusty Springfield - I only want to be with you and the slow song I imagine playing at the end is Frank Sinatra - I'll never smile again.  
> ~  
> You can find me on tumblr under the same name!

     The party had dwindled down and the clock was inching towards 3 a.m. Thor and Jane had retired to their room, Bruce had left the party as soon as he thought it appropriate, Natasha and Sam had vanished after half the night and was nowhere to be found, Tony had made a beeline for his workshop as soon as he thought that nobody was watching, and left was Clint half asleep on the couch and Darcy lying on the floor in front of the stereo, bobbing her feet along to the music, and Steve, drunk on Asgardian mead and holding his head to keep it from spinning.

    “Oh, I _love_ this song” Darcy groaned happily.

    Steve’s ears perked up, trying to focus on the music instead of the spinning going on in his head. He didn’t recognize the song, granted he had missed ca 70 years of music history so he wasn't all that surprised.

    His head throbbed in time with the mulling pain in his chest, only amplified by the asgardian alcohol burning holes in his veins. It was the same pain he had felt every second of every minute of every day since he was rescued from the ice.

     Pain for every person he had lost.

 

 **{** _I don't quite know_   
_How to say_  
 _How I feel_ **}**

 

Steve didn’t know when the first sob came,

  
**{** _Those three words_   
_Are said too much_ _  
_ _They're not enough_ **}**

 

or the second,

  
**{** _If I lay here_   
_If I just lay here_   
_Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_   
_Forget what we're told_   
_Before we get too old_ _  
_ _Show me a garden that's bursting into life_ **}**

 

he was only dimly aware of the third because it managed to rock his entire body. He opened a bleary eye to search for potential onlookers but Clint was snoring peacefully on the other couch and Darcy seemed to be too close to the speakers to hear him.

    People like to say that memories come _bubbling_ to the surface, but that’s not what it felt like to Steve. Instead they shot from his subconscious like a malicious fireball, wrecking everything on its way to the forefront of Steve’s consciousness. Memories, images of places and feelings long gone surged into his thoughts, blinding him to anything else. Image after image.

    His hands being small and spindly, body hurting all over and his lungs constricting with every breath; him looking up to Bucky who smiled back down at him; Bucky and a night sky filled with stars, and grass tickling his neck; Bucky with silvery aquamarine eyes just for him; Bucky focusing on Steve; Bucky _seeing_ Steve; Bucky seeing Steve when nobody else would.

 

 **{** _All that I am_   
_All that I ever was_ _  
_ _Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see_ **}**

 

    And oh, oh but that _hurt;_ the pain shooting straight through Steve’s heart so hard he had to clutch a pillow to his chest, almost bending over double on the couch. All he could see was those eyes, those kind bright eyes that he would never see again. He felt plagued by the image of the Winter soldier glaring at him on the bridge; the monster wearing his best friend’s face. It was Bucky, except for the hair and the clothes everything about his appearance was Bucky— except for the eyes. Hydra had robbed him of his aquamarine kindness and left him with nothing but silver.

 

 **{** _I don't know where_   
_Confused about how as well_   
_Just know that these things will never change for us at all_   
_If I lay here_   
_If I just lay here_ _  
_ _Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_ **}**

 

    And the floodgates opened and Steve lost nearly all damned control as he shook with the pain strangling him though his spine. He could _feel_ it through his drunken haze: physical sensations mimicking the agony that churned inside him.

    The vision of Bucky in his military uniform appeared before his mind’s eye: ‘ _Sergeant James Barnes, shipping out for England first thing tomorrow_ ’, and Steve thought he would break apart. His eyes. His beautiful eyes that saw what nobody else saw.. everything he never told him, never got a chance to— was too scared to—

    Darcy sighed dreamily as the song ended and turned to put it on repeat, and Steve gritted his teeth and nearly screamed into the couch cushion.

 

~~~

 

    It was Jarvis who alerted him to the worrying state of their Captain.

    “Sir, I feel obligated to report increasing signs of distress in Captain Rogers and seeing as he is intoxicated and in the common area—”

    “What’s going on, J?” Tony put his visor up and his blowtorch down, drawing up a hologram feed from the common room, scanning the image with a sinking feeling in his stomach.

    “The alien liquid mr. Odinsson brought seem to combat the Captain’s enhanced metabolism, keeping him intoxicated, but his alcohol levels appear to be under the level of concern. However his blood pressure as well as his pulse are currently spiking and he is showing alarming symptoms of distress and—”

    Tony removed the rest of his tools and darted out of the workshop.

    “Alright, dear. I’m on it.”

    When he arrived to the common area, Steve seemed to have calmed down enough that his pulse wasn’t running a mile a minute, but his face, oh, _but_ _his face_. The sight physically hurt. Blue blue eyes staring empty and vacant in front of him and tendrils of tears running down slightly pink cheeks, only interrupted by the occasional sob.

 

    No no, Tony thought, no this won’t do.

    He moved to usher Darcy off the floor and away from the stereo. She grunted in a way that Tony had quickly learnt in Darcinian meant basically ”Fine, but fuck you.”

    He rummaged through the music, until he found what he was looking for, silently thanking the few beers still in his system because there was no way he'd be comfortable enough doing this sober. Cap was too proud to talk, had always been. So Dusty it was.

    “Tony, what-”

    The first notes of Dusty Springfield’s _I only want to be with_ you started to pour from the speakers to interrupt him. Tony walked up to stand in front of him, hand outstretched.

    “Dance with me.”

    “Tony, no— come on.”

    “I’m serious, I mean the song is a bit after your time but it’s still pretty damn old.. I mean relatively.. should be right up your alley,” Tony grinned at him “and you need a dance, that much is obvious.”

    Steve sighed,  let the corner of his mouth quirk up in a way that was entirely unconvincing and wiped at his eyes.

    “Tony, I don’t think—”

    “Good, don’t think, it ruins the fun.”

    Steve looked up at that and almost allowed himself a small chuckle at the twinkling in Tony’s eyes.

    “Fine.”

    “Good.”

    He pulled Steve up by his arm, which honestly he would _not_ have been able to do if Steve didn’t want him to, and led him away from the couch signaling to Darcy to push away the chairs and table; which she did, albeit a bit clumsily. She had managed to down an entire whiskey bottle by herself and Tony was actually kind of proud over the fact that she managed to remain upright for enough time to move the furniture.

    “I still can’t dance.”

    “It’s funner that way”, Tony winked and that _finally_ wrought a smile and a small huff of laugh from Steve.

    “Knew I could force a smile out of ya, nobody stands a chance against my charms.

    “Your charms, huh?”

    “Yes, yes exactly. Please, try to keep up.”

 

 **{** _I don't know what it is that makes me love you so_   
_I only know I never want to let you go_   
_'Cause you started something, can't you see_   
_That ever since we met you've had a hold on me_ _  
_ _I happens to be true, I only want to be with you_ **}**

 

    Tony tried an easy and slow mash between a modern jive and something of a waltz, sticking to basic moves and made sure to keep it as stupid and goofy as possible; and Steve, ever the elegant super-human, was infuriatingly quick to catch on, following Tony’s lead in an upsettingly graceful manner. He still had a few tears on his face and the embarrassed smiles altered with choked of sobs and tiny hiccups.

 

 **{** _It doesn't matter where you go or what you do_   
_I want to spend each moment of the day with you_   
_Look what has happened with just one kiss_   
_I never knew that I could be in love like this_ _  
_ _It's crazy but it's true, I only want to be with you_ **}**

 

    Tony let go of Steve with his left, catching him by surprise to twirl him and then managed a ridiculous little shimmy with his hips. Now _that_ had Steve laughing; a real unrestrained laugh accompanied by a wet but genuine smile and if _that_ wasn’t the most beautiful thing Tony had ever seen..

    “There he is”, he grinned “come on, Cap. Let’s show em how it’s done.”

    “You’re ridiculous.”

    “Fun. The word you’re looking for is _fun._ ” and _yes!_ Steve huffed _another_ laugh. Tony did an internal victory dance. This was turning out to be a _very_ good day, and Tony busied his mind with locking away mental image after image of Steve smiling, Steve laughing, Steve looking at him with something soft in his eyes.

    “Come on, Rogers! Shake it!”, Darcy exclaimed, then followed with a whoop and a drunken cackle.

    The tips of Steve’s ears tinted slightly pink and his cheeks followed approximately 1.5 seconds later.

    Adorable.

    Tony dove forward to twirl him again.

    “You heard the lady!”

    Steve’s laugh was quickly turning addictive and Tony felt obligated to keep the Captain laughing because yes, more of that, always more of that. He grabbed his hands and worked their arms back and forth in beat with the trumpets going _baa-baba-ba_ and Steve was just completely, overwhelmingly adorable. He was so different from how he usually was: the tense, disciplined alwayslookingoutforeverybodyelse Captain America. Now he seemed more like the boy Tony had seen photographs of, the boy Steve used to be before they jacked him up on Super soldier juice. He looked slightly embarrassed but happy and loose, almost relaxed; and the tears had started to dry. Victory.

 

 **{** _Now, listen, honey, I just want to be beside you everywhere_   
_As long as we're together, honey, I don't care_   
_'Cause you started something, can't you see_   
_That ever since we met you've had a hold on me_ _  
_ _No matter what you do, I only want to be with you_ **}**

 

    “You stopped and smiled at me and asked if I cared to da-a-ance, I fell into your open aaarms,” Tony sang with the words and turned to jokingly fall against Steve’s arms looking up at him, “and I didn't stand a chance!”

    Okay, so maybe he was a bit more drunk than he had previously thought.

    “Ridiculous”, Steves chuckled, exasperated but fond.

    “FUN”, Tony enunciated every sound of the word like he was talking to a toddler “fun is the word you’re looking for.”

    The last notes of the song rang out and another oldie started playing. Steve dragged Tony up on his feet and turned him to wrap his arms around him, and then Tony was enveloped by _massive_ and _warm, warm, warm._ If he allowed himself to melt a bit against Steve nobody had to know.

    “Thank you.”

    “Aw, Cap I should be the one thanking you. I’m the one who asked for the dance, remember?” Tony teased.

    Steve snorted.

    “Shut up.”

    “Language!” and Tony was proud that he had managed to sound genuinely offended. Again Steve chuckled and it was like molasses over Tony’s brain, music to his ears! Whatever, he loved it.

    “Ugh, I _love_ your laugh”, and crap- he had said that out loud, hadn’t he?

    Steve tensed for a moment, then moved his head away to peer down at him, brows furrowed; his baby blues seemingly liquid in the low light. When Tony just grinned sheepishly and shrugged Steve’s features relaxed and he gripped Tony’s chin with his thumb and index finger, nuzzling his cheek and yeah this was quickly racing up to the top on Tony’s Best Things Ever- list, right above coffee and Black Sabbath's greatest hits.

    “Then I guess I’ll just have to do more of it.” he murmured against Tony’s skin. And then finally, blissfully, he tightened the grip on Tony’s chin and brought his lips up to meet his own.

    Tony made a choked off trilling noise in the back of his throat because _yes_.

    Steve hummed in response, angling his head _just so_ and Tony melted some more.

    “Finally!”

    Oh, good, so Darcy was still awake then.

    Steve chuckled against Tony’s lips and that just left Tony in an awful position because smiling was good, smiling Steve was on his top three favourite things after all but smiling also stood in the way for maximum lips on lips contact and that would just not do.

    But then Steve licked over his bottom lip and yeah there went Tony’s last functioning brain cell. Good riddance, see you never.

    Behind them Darcy pointedly cleared her throat.

    “You know, even though this is _adorable_ beyond words and all that, maybe you should, you know, not do that.. _here_.” she raised her right eyebrow meaningfully.

    Steve surprised them both by tipping his head back and barking out a laugh, tearing away from Tony a bit to wipe at his eyes. Huh, _okay then_. But Steve was smiling, and laughing and lookingyt   soft and happy and Tony’s heart swelled at the sight.

    Yeah, Steve-smiles was quickly becoming his favourite thing. 

 


End file.
